Most days I couldn’t think of many things to be excited about. I often found myself just going through the motions and feeling trapped within myself. I knew I was depressed.
My thinking was always negative and based out of fear which always led me to hide in my shell and stay sheltered most of the time. This also affected my decision making. I only made decisions which were easy and never future oriented, further creating a life stuck in the comfort zone.
The Turning Point
I got to the point where the low feeling reached its worst after work one day; I was laying on my bed scrolling through social media looking at all the perfect people who were doing better than me, and it really got to me.
Something inside me clicked, it was like a bomb went off in my head and redirected my full attention to this immediate thought:
“You need to change right now and take back control of your life. You've allowed yourself to be controlled by fear for too long. You have so much potential within to overcome this and be so much more. But if you don’t change, you’re going to be stuck living this life forever.”
Immediately after, I snapped out of it and began reflecting on my own life. Every area of my life needed to change. I started looking everywhere for answers to all the questions I had and how I can improve to be able to live a better life.
I started making some changes which were extremely uncomfortable at the time like; speaking up for myself, setting bigger goals and demanding more respect from others.
Nothing was easy about changing who I was. But once I made the change I understood how good it can get.
One thing I began to understand was that we need to create communities where we share the real stories of our lives and all other difficulties we go through on a regular basis.
I still had some baggage from the past which was holding me back at times that I needed to share with others. I decided it was time to start a group where we can socialise things, and to have ongoing support and guidance from each other to live a more fulfilling life.
Story Tellers
Having that first conversation in which we all opened up about our struggles individually was difficult at first. But once I shared my story with others it was like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders, and any sense of feeling isolated got turned around when others related to a lot of what I had to say.
With Lads Army we continue to gain a higher quality connection with each other through this process, and the experience of freedom and fulfilment it is truely life changing.
My Advice
- Be honest: With yourself and others more often. Neglecting how you feel inside will only make the suffering last longer. When others ask how you are, tell them how you really are. You might be surprised at how much praise and support you actually get by opening up and being honest to others.
- Get help: If you're stubborn like I was it may be hard to understand the real value of asking for help. Asking for help is not weak, it is a display of strength and respect for yourself for wanting to get better.
- Prioritise yourself & your health: Work on yourself every day and raise your standards for life. Get to know yourself so that you understand what it is you need to work on. Set bigger goals and take one step towards them every day. Throw yourself into new experiences and challenges and accept failure as a natural part of success.
Keep going, it gets better.
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