The wheels came off at the worst possible time, I had exams coming up and my whole future I needed to sort out. I got in my car and drove off. I desperately wanted to escape.
It was during the week of my 20th birthday where I properly experienced and understood depression and anxiety. My head was racing; pulling up bad thoughts and situations which pulled me down to a low point I never thought I’d find my way out of. I wish it wasn’t real.
As I struggled in this moment, I took time to understand myself and the situation I was in.
I’m fortunate enough to have grown up in a household where mental health discussions were encouraged. Both of my parents too have had mental health challenges, but we talked about these things which made everyone stronger and more connected, and obviously a lot better off than not speaking up which way too many struggle with.
I’ve had a few other low points where things piled up and got the best of me. But even when the hard times got really hard, I always had a deep sense of knowing; ‘everything is going to be okay’. That’s what keeps me going, because it’s true.
My Passion
I love farming, I love what I do every day. The fact that I’m a part of a national team which supplies food to the global market is reason enough for me to smile every day.
Like most other dairy farmers in this country, we’re working bloody hard to care for our animals and produce milk efficiently and sustainably. The passion we have for looking after the animals, the land and our produce is incomparable.
It’s just a shame that the small percentage of farmers slip up and end up as front-page news stories, which creates a bad public image for the rest of us. This makes it hard for us to do what we do.
Despite the negativity towards farmers (usually from social media) I’m able to manage my mental well-being and get out there every day and enjoy what I do.
My Community
Having supportive communities around me has been massive for me. I’m part of the Ngarua Young Farmers group, which is awesome, it’s like a second family to me.
Lads Army too has helped me grow and work through some challenges. I’ve been a part of that for almost a year now and I’m excited to watch that grow as we try reach out to more people.
My Advice
1. For anyone who is struggling right now just know that it does get better, you will be able to figure this out and rise above these difficult times. No matter how big the challenge is you will overcome it
2. Get together with your mates or anyone you feel comfortable with and share your story. Speak up about what you’re dealing with. No one deserves to suffer in silence. If I can do it, so can you.
3. Mental health challenges affect everyone. Someone out there has dealt with the issue you’re experiencing – you are not alone.
Starting these conversations will encourage more people to speak up, share their story and build stronger relationships with each other.
~ Declan
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